Week Twenty-One

RAIN FROM A CLOUDLESS SKY
By Kim Davidson
(c) 2010

We chose this life
We said that we would walk together
And as long as we had love
There’d be no storm we couldn’t weather

So how is it
I find myself in this position
Suddenly all on my own
When no one asked my permission?

CHORUS: And it just goes to show
No matter what you think you know
Things can always change before your eyes
And you can’t be prepared
No matter how you try
‘Cause sometimes rain falls… from a cloudless sky

No warning bell
I thought that everything was fine
Until you gave another
What I’d always thought was mine

Pick myself up
Amid the wreckage and the ruins
Take a long deep breath
And figure what I am doing

CHORUS: And it just goes to show
No matter what you think you know
Things can always change before your eyes
And you can’t be prepared
No matter how you try
‘Cause sometimes rain falls… from a cloudless sky

BRIDGE: So I guess this, this is the test
In how I reemerge from this mess
It’s one thing when you know it’s coming and you hunker down
It’s another to be caught off guard and try to turn it around

There is no choice
Because I will not fade or wallow
So I’ll try to gather sun
Until my heart’s no longer hollow

I will give thanks
For any good that may find me
And keep my faith
Until the Universe reminds me…

CHORUS: And it just goes to show
No matter what you think you know
Things can always change before your eyes
And you can’t be prepared
No matter how you try
‘Cause sometimes rain falls… from a cloudless sky

So last week I mentioned I was a week ahead, right? I had this song kind of almost ready to go. I couldn’t quite figure out where it needed to lead (it didn’t have an ending) so I took it to my regular songwriting group for a little guidance. I got a lot of useful feedback, but thus far I haven’t been able to really put it to any good use. So I guess maybe that song is going to need a little more percolating before it gets finished.

That’s okay. I had this idea a few weeks ago that I had wanted to chase down anyway. I was driving, which is one of the two most common situations where I tend to get flooded with song ideas (the other is almost anytime I’m out enjoying live music), and it was a beautiful sunny day, so I was completely surprised when it suddenly started down-pouring. It literally came out of nowhere. I mean, one second there’s no rain and then the next it’s POURING. And still completely blue skies and sun shining. It was so weird! I drove for another few minutes and just as abruptly, the rain stopped. And I couldn’t help but think, “Where did that rain COME from?” I mean, I’ve experienced the phenomenon of the sun shower before, obviously. In New England there’s not much we don’t get weather-wise, so it wasn’t like it was so shocking; but I’d never really stopped to think about it before. Rain does come from clouds usually—right? Not in this case. Unless they were crazy, super-high-above-the-atmosphere, totally out of sight clouds.

And so the title of this song popped into my head and I thought it was such an apt analogy for those situations in life that creep up on you when you think everything is totally okay, and then… WHAM. You get kicked in the head by the Universe. And it seemed like a good time to try to incorporate some stuff I’ve been tucking away for the past couple years, which is relationship stuff that has really surprised me.

God knows I had my eyes opened when my last boyfriend left me, and I never saw it coming. It was such a complete blind-side, and such a devastating, unnecessary thing to have happen to me. I still don’t quite understand how the Universe thought I’d earned that. What’s happened since then is that I’ve really started to see that I had it all wrong. What is the exception to the rule is the crazy notion that there are real, good, reciprocal relationships out there that last. I’m not saying this from a bitter place. I’m saying I’ve been observing some really unexpected stuff the past couple years and it’s starting to turn into the majority. I’ve seen the most unlikely of relationships go completely postal, and I’ve learned that even the ones that are called “good” by the people participating in them are kind of being graded on a curve. It’s been sobering, to say the least. Needless to say, I have not rushed to renew my Yahoo Personals subscription. And it seems like more and more when things DO happen, they happen completely out of nowhere. “Everything was good, and now this…” Rain from a cloudless sky. How could I NOT write a song about that?